


?The War of the Riddles¿

by Gottaread2



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Comedy, Divorce, Ed and Lee hate each other by the end of this, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Future Fic, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Not Romance, Salty fic, Sorry Not Sorry, Temporary Character Death, WARNING IS IN THE TAGS, love to hate, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gottaread2/pseuds/Gottaread2
Summary: Edward and Lee had a seemingly perfect marriage with the kids, the house, their own slice of the criminal empire of Gotham... so what went wrong? And what happens when the love between two such notorious villains turns sour?(Inspired by the movie,The War of the Roses, but taking place in Gotham with Edward and Lee as the main characters. It has a similar plot to the movie, but with my own spin on it. So if you know the movie, you have a fairly good idea how this ends.)





	1. The Marriage

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Just to be clear, THIS IS NOT A NYGMAKINS FIC! It is not labeled as Edward Nygma/Leslie Thompkins for a reason. I don't want anyone to get hurt or upset because they were expecting something else. So if you are here for nygmakins, I advise you not to read this because it WILL end badly for nygmakins as a ship (they do not stay together in this and do not end up together at the end). If you want to read about them breaking up, then you are reading the right fic.

The man had entered the office nervously, taking in the grandeur of the room around him. Books lined the walls of the handsome office. In the center of the space was a large ebony desk with an almost throne-like chair behind it. Seated in the chair was none other than the infamous crime lord himself, the Penguin. Oswald Cobblepot had listened patiently to the explanation the man had given, nodding occasionally in understanding. The man wanted a divorce. To get out of paying alimony, he was looking to put a hit out on his soon to be ex-wife as soon as the proper paperwork had been concluded. But in order to do so, he would need the approval of the Penguin and a license to carry out the deed.

"You have some valid reasons for wanting a divorce." Oswald said, standing and walking to a nearby table to fetch some wine. He poured the drink and held it out before him, offering it to the man, "Would you like a glass?"

The man waved a hand in the negative, so Oswald downed the contents himself. He circled back to the front of his desk, leaning back against it, wine and glass still in hand.

"I shouldn't do this. It will probably be the death of me one day." Oswald licked the wine from his lips before continuing, "I hadn't drank a drop for ten years. I kept the last unopened bottle of wine as a sort of memento. I can be somewhat sentimental that way. I said if I never drink this one bottle, I'll never drink again period. Ten years I kept that bottle."

Oswald turned away to pour himself another glass. He wouldn't get drunk. It was unprofessional and he had an image to maintain, but he needed something to take the edge off for the tale he was about to tell.

"Ten years" Oswald echoed his voice becoming quiet, almost solemn, "And then one Thursday afternoon, Edward came to see me."

Oswald looked off into the distance. In his mind's eye, he saw Edward's sad smile, the hollow desperation in his eyes. He remembered him standing there in his office. And he remembered the words Edward spoke before he departed.

_"You know where I am if you change your mind."_ Edward had said, before leaving. 

At the door, he had turned back to look at Oswald one more time, as if hoping he'd change his mind. He lingered only a moment then left with a soft shrug. Oswald would often wonder if things might have been different, if he had stopped him then. That had been little over a year ago. He was brought back to the present when his visitor cleared his throat.

"Edward and Leslie Riddle." Oswald let the names roll off his tongue and took another sip of wine, "You'd have heard of them. Except I kept what happened out of the papers. I think you should hear the story though. Might matter to you."

Oswald hobbled back around to the other side of his desk. He turned to face the other man and looked down at him meaningfully. The story of Edward and Leslie Riddle was a cautionary tale, all of it true, and anyone considering going through with a divorce ought to hear it before making their final decision. Divorce was not to be taken lightly, as Edward and Leslie proved.

"I have a lot of other people to talk to today. But don't worry. I'm not telling you this as a threat, merely a statement of fact, so that you might understand the significance" Oswald reassured, "When a man as busy as me, the man basically running all of Gotham wants to tell you something for free, you should listen."

He paused a moment, gauging the attentiveness of his audience before he continued. He had the man's undivided attention. No one turned down a suggestion from the Penguin (at least not to his face).

"Maybe it wasn't perfect, but their love was quite passionate in the beginning. They agreed on that." Oswald said, leaning towards the man and keeping unwavering eye contact, "But the way I saw it, the poor bastards never had a chance."

He let his words linger a moment. An uncomfortable silence filling the space with the weight of what he had just said. Oswald turned away and paced towards the window to look out on Gotham, his city.

"It all began in the Narrows, so I am told. You may recall that Edward Riddle was once the frozen centerpiece of my Iceberg Lounge? He was known by a different name then, Edward Nygma. Well, after his... rescue, I suppose you could call it that... maybe more of an abduction really. Either way, he resumed his activities as the Riddler. Silly name, don't you think? It was during a museum heist that fate would intervene and he would cross paths with the Queen of the Narrows."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

A blur of sparkling green was all the cameras caught before being smashed in quick succession. The Riddler twirled his cane merrily and disappeared around a corner. He was enjoying himself immensely, finally having recovered from the time spent in his icy prison. He had been granted his freedom and won back his mind, and Edward intended to make the most of it.

Edward was making his way to the heart of the museum. He stalked through the corridors, careful to keep to the shadows. He quickly glanced around to ensure there were no guards before entering the next room. There in the center of it, he at last laid eyes on his prize, an exquisite Japanese carving. The little figure was a brilliant shade of green, being entirely made up of jade. Where he was to keep the piece after acquiring it, he hadn't the faintest idea. But have it he must.

He sauntered over to the display case, cane in hand, a bounce in his step, before being promptly tackled to the ground. He thrashed against his assailant blindly. The two pushed and clawed at one another, each fighting for dominance. Edward finally freed himself. He rolled away and turned quickly to see his attacker.

And there was Lee Thompkins. Dressed head to toe all in black, the sleek material hugging her curves. She had always been beautiful, but this Lee looked different from the woman he had met at the GCPD. She looked dangerous. Alluringly so. Edward felt his mouth go dry and his heart hammer in his chest. Now he had his eyes set on another prize. But if she had attacked him here, dressed like that... There was only one reasonable conclusion. She was after the same thing as him.

"Well, well, Lee Thompkins." Edward purred, "Never thought I'd see the day the good doctor would lower herself to a life of crime. And an art thief no less?"

"Times have changed and people change, Ed. Though I see you're still the same as ever." Lee replied coldly.

"Guilty." Edward smirked casually stepping closer.

Lee furrowed her brow, noticing the minute movement and instantly feeling on guard. Edward was after all a very dangerous man and clearly up to something. She took a wary step away, careful not to turn her back on him.

"Something wrong?" He asked with mock innocence.

"Not at all." Lee lied, taking another backward step, "But I should be going."

She was now standing right next to the display case with the green statuette. She had already disabled the alarm beforehand and easily popped open the glass to remove it's contents.

The Riddler sighed, "I'm afraid I must be going as well... but not without my new bookend."

With those words, he pressed a button on his cane and pointed it in Lee's direction with a flourish. A net flew out of the end, wrapping around Lee and trapping her in place. With the woman incapacitated, Edward strolled up to the case and took the statuette himself. 

"Well, this was fun. We should do it again sometime." Edward teased.

Lee growled in frustration. He turned to wink at her before proceeding to make his escape. He knew his trap wouldn't hold her for long. It wasn't meant to. He just needed a head start and hoped she would follow behind him soon. The plan worked. As he ran, he could hear her footsteps closing the distance between them.

"Bookend? You know how much it's worth?" Lee asked him, sprinting to catch up.

"Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna sell it." The man replied lightly. He flashed a wide smile at her. The man had a goofy sort of grin that she had once found charming. Before he became a murder. Lee would not be deterred, however. She needed that figurine.

"It's worth millions." She explained, grabbing hold of him in exasperation.

"I must have a good eye." Edward chuckled, "Now we really should be going. Before we get caught."

He shook his arm free of her and reached down to grasp her hand instead, twining their fingers together. He set off once more, pulling Lee along with him. She followed him without complaint. He did have a point after all, about not getting caught. Lee wouldn't be able to help anybody from inside prison.

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

They wound up back at Cherry's where Lee had been allowed to set up her little clinic. Maybe she wasn't quite the villain she had appeared to be back at the museum. But Lee's dual nature, hard and soft, bad and good, all wrapped up in one woman only left Edward more intrigued. He took in the shabby facility and outdated equipment and now knew why Lee had stooped to thievery. Medical care was expensive and better equipment and medicine would mean saving more lives. Not that the Riddler cared about that, saving these worthless people's lives. But he did want to impress Lee. He took Lee's hands and placed the stolen figurine into her unsuspecting grasp. Lee's eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you doing?" she inquired confused.

"When I am made, it's not a trade. What am I?" 

Lee shook her head still lost. What sort of scheme was this? What was Edward planning by asking her this riddle and what would he do to her if she answered incorrectly? She didn't have long to worry over it however before the Riddler answered his own question.

"A gift."

"You're just giving this to me?" Lee asked with suspicion, "And what do you want in return?"

"That's not how gifts work. It's yours. No strings attached." Edward answered her, "You clearly deserve it more than I do."

"Wow. That's..." Lee hesitated, trying to figure out what exactly that was. Suspicious? Strange? Sweet? She settled on, "unexpected. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ed told her before turning away to look as though he was leaving. He took a few purposeful steps before hearing what he had expected.

"Wait. You should let me thank you properly." Lee strode to the man's side and leaned up to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I thought you hated me?" Edward simpered.

"Well, times have changed and people change. It seems you have as well, Ed." Lee replied coyly.

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

"Edward became Lee's right hand after that." Oswald told the man, "With his help, Lee became Queen of the Narrows. The people loved her as they have never loved me. But it was Edward's ingenuity that kept her on top."

The man shuffled in his seat, intrigued by the story, though he didn't yet see how it related to his current predicament. Oswald saw the look on his face and took another sip of wine before continuing in the telling.

"They were married within a year. A few months later, their first child was born, a boy. Soon after, the addition of a daughter would complete their picture perfect family." Oswald sighed, "They had it all. Sounds like something out of a fairytale, doesn't it?"

Oswald fell silent, deep in thought. It lasted only a moment before he continued with a melancholic smile, "But those early years were not all sunshine and rainbows. Lee may have had control of the Narrows, but had little sway anywhere else. And with Sophia in charge at the time and demanding payment, their financial situation was rocky at best."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

A fire crackled merrily in the fire place, green decorations littered the room, and Christmas carols played on the radio all lending to the festive atmosphere. Lee wished she was able to enjoy it. Instead, she sat at her desk, pouring over paperwork and unpaid bills. Despite the holiday season, her work never seemed to end. The only difference was that she had brought it home with her to be closer to the family, a decision she was beginning to regret after her daughter swiped an important file off her desk.

"Honey, give me those papers." Lee's tone was gentle, although her patience was wearing thin.

"Say pwease." came Laney's impish reply.

"Please." Lee said patiently. 

"No." the toddler rebelled.

Lee shook her head before standing up with an agitated sigh. She followed the girl back to the corner of the room where she and her brother, Clay, were playing. The girl quickly stuffed the papers under a tiny child-sized table, grabbed a crayon to draw, and acted as though she were not a little thief like her father. Lee crouched down, reaching under the little table, as the children giggled. 

"Nice try." She whispered triumphantly when she pulled the papers from their hiding place.

"Helloooooo! Dad's home!" Edward called upon entering.

The children immediately jumped up, rushing to greet their father. Tiny arms wrapped around his legs and Edward couldn't help but smile warmly down at them. Who would have ever thought he would come to enjoy children so much? Of course, it was different when they were your own.

"What's in the bag?" Clay demanded. He was always the curious one.

"What bag?" Edward asked with feigned ignorance.

"That one." the children chanted, pointing behind his back.

"Oh! You mean _this_ bag?" Edward chuckled, bringing it fully into view. The children nodded eagerly.

"Here." Edward said pulling out two treats and handing them over, "A green one for you. And a green one for you."

The children laughed, "It's always gween."

"I'm not so sure it's healthy to give them sweets like that." Lee scolded her husband.

"Lighten up a little. It's Christmas." Edward replied licking the sticky sweetness from his fingers.

"Mhm. Well, if you limited it to only special occasions, I wouldn't be complaining." Lee told him with a note of irritability.

Edward ignored the comment, pulling something else from the bag: a star shaped tree topper. He'd made it himself and walked around to the tree eager to see how it looked. With his height and long limbs, it was a simple task to place it at the top. He stood back to admire his handiwork.

"What do you think?" He asked his wife.

"More green? But the tree is already green, dear." Lee said absently, still looking over the work scattered across her desk.

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." Edward plucked the star from its perch and set it aside, "What do you say we go for a walk?"

"I'm a little busy right now." Lee said gesturing down at the papers.

"Just a quick stroll. C'mon." Edward pressed.

"I've got work to do. Besides, it's freezing outside." Lee argued.

"And yet I'm still asking. Aren't you curious why?"

Lee bit her lip considering it. Ed obviously had some sort of surprise up his sleeve. It was always grand gestures with him. She better find out what exactly it was. She followed him outside. With children in tow, the couple made their way down the snowy sidewalk. 

They had been walking for awhile now and Lee, beginning to lose patience, finally asked, "Ed, I have work to do. I don't have time to be out walking around in the snow. Can we just head back home?"

"No." Edward said with a devious grin, "I want to go for a ride in your car."

"I don't have a car." Lee began before her eyes widened in surprise, "You mean that's my..."

She turned back to face the new car parked nearby. The luxury vehicle was a sleek black, but also armored. Perfect for anybody with more than a few enemies in Gotham. It was sure to keep Lee safe. The gift was gorgeous, but how were they supposed to afford it?

"Where did you get the money to pay for this?" she voiced her concern.

"Silly, I stole it of course. But don't worry, I have all the proper documentation. It can't be traced back to us. Are you happy?"

"Happy? Of course, I'm happy. I'm way passed happy." Lee said, palms on Ed's cheeks, she pulled him in for a kiss. "I'm married."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

"Yes, those early years certainly came with some hardships, but back then they were still happy. And Lee was definitely moving up in the world." Oswald continued.

"So what happened?" the man inquired.

"Patience. I'll get to that." Oswald reprimanded, "As I said, Lee was gaining power and I had found some powerful friends of my own during my stay in Arkham. But Sophia was still at the top. Putting aside our past differences, Lee and I formed an alliance to finally take her down. She had her eye on the future. So did I."

Oswald walked back around to sit at his desk. The story was not even half done yet and his weak leg was beginning to ache. Once seated, he leaned back with a contented sigh at the relief he felt.

"This was the beginning of the end, I suppose. I should have seen it then if I had been looking for it. The relationship was beginning to crack and a major blow occurred over a business dinner, a meeting between new allies to plot Sophia's downfall."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

The most notorious villains in Gotham were all gathered at Lee's (formerly known as Cherry's). Jerome, Tetch, Crane, Fries, Firefly, Ivy, Penguin, Lee and Riddler all in attendance. They sat around a long rectangular dining table, all except the subject of their meeting, Sophia Falcone, their shared enemy. This would be the first step in taking her down and the alliance would last until that goal was reached. After that the city would be fair game to whoever was strong enough to take it next.

"Here is to mutual respect, if not trust..." Oswald began the toast.

Jerome interrupted, cackling loudly, "Understatement of the year!"

Oswald glared at him before finishing, "and the future success of this alliance."

"Here. Here." Lee said raising her glass, followed shortly by the rest of the assembled criminals.

"And I wouldn't be here if not for your assistance with my release from Arkham, Lee. This woman has a face juries can't help but believe." Oswald said brightly, eliciting polite chuckles from the rest of the group.

"Well, let's drink up."

As glasses clinked, two children, clad in their pajamas, shuffled quietly into the dining room to bid their parents goodnight.

"Goodnight dad." Clay and Laney said in unison.

"Oh. Goodnight, sweethearts." Edward replied, standing from his seat.

"Dad?"

"Hm?" Edward hummed.

"Can we have more cake?" Clay questioned.

"No more sweets before bed." Lee sternly rebuked, speaking over Edward before he could respond.

The children pouted. Laney looked ready to cry, but was stopped by Edward leaning down to wrap them in a warm embrace.

"You can have some more tomorrow." He whispered in their ears, "Now go give your mother a hug before bed."

The children had never been as affectionate with Lee as with her husband. After all, he was the "fun" parent and it had been Edward who was their main caretakers as infants while she suffered Postpartum. Whether this was a natural reaction to giving birth or something more, Lee couldn't be quite sure. Clay had not really been her first child, a fact she could never forget. No, her first child would not have been her husband's. That first child had been Jim's, but she had miscarried. The scars from that time never truly left her. She'd had to endure that pain alone as an indirect result of Edward's actions. She'd told herself she had forgiven him long ago, but she couldn't help feel a little resentment seeing the way the children fawned over their father. 

These emotions felt ugly, justified or not, and she usually repressed them as best as she could. Tonight, however, they remained boiling just beneath the surface and coloring her actions with a passive aggressive tone. Punishing Edward, who could not understand where his wife's sudden cruelty towards him was coming from. She took every opportunity to make jabs at Edward, although most of these went unnoticed by their company. All except Oswald, who had noted the look of discomfort on Edward's face.

"Your crystal is lovely." Oswald said gesturing to his wine glass (sadly filled only with water). He desperately wished he had something stronger and was attempting to diffuse the tense atmosphere, "It's not Waterford?"

"Baccarat, actually. There's kind of an interesting story behind it. Why don't you tell it, dear?" Lee suggested sweetly just as Edward had taken a large mouthful of food.

All eyes turned towards him as he awkwardly chewed. An embarrassing silence settled over the table. It was taking too long and Edward gave up on chewing, instead gulping down his wine to swallow his mouthful. 

"Well, um, we were in Paras." Edward began.

"It was our honeymoon." Lee interjected, cutting him off.

"Right, our honeymoon." Edward said shortly. It annoyed him. Hadn't she just asked him to tell the story?

"We were touring the Musée Baccarat, the museum and factory. It's one of two museums the company owns. It's quite an interesting place to visit actually containing a number of glass works that were originally created for world fairs and universal exhibitions of the nineteenth century..." Edward prattled on, spouting off irrelevant facts about the company and it's glasswork.

Lee's smile became pained as she watched Edward going off on another tangent. It was always like this with him. He could never just get to the point, always sharing his uninteresting trivia as if their guests would care to hear it. Finally, she could not stand it any longer, cutting in to silence Edward.

"To make a long story short, we went back that night to steal the set. The heist went perfectly right up until the end. We somehow tripped an alarm on the way out, but managed to avoid the authorities during our escape. By using the fragile and priceless glass works, we blocked off our escape route long enough to delay the police. Edward even managed to leave behind one of his signature riddles. And that is our Baccarat story." Lee finished.

"Right. _Our_ story." Edward echoed sourly.

It was the beginning of the end.


	2. The Divorce

Oswald watched the man shifting in his seat, a slight grimace twisting his features. He looked uncomfortable. It couldn't possibly be the chair, Oswald thought. Stylish as it was, he hadn't sacrificed comfort for style. Perhaps the story was reminding him of his own marriage. Oswald wondered to whom the man was relating more. Edward or Leslie?

Oswald paused in his telling to once more offer the gentleman a drink. This time, the man accepted gratefully, downing the glass and even allowing Oswald to pour him another. So it was the story causing the discomfort. Well, it would only get worse from here.

"As I was saying," Oswald continued, "Edward had spent much of his time as Lee's right-hand man with little time dedicated to anything else. It was he that made sure everything ran smoothly for her. He made the schedules, made sure that her orders were carried out, sniffed out any insubordinates so that they could be punished as she saw fit. He lost himself in supporting her."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

He had quietly been planning it for several months now. Something of his own, something that would allow him for once to take the spotlight. The thought of it thrilled him. He knocked on the door of Lee's office, not even waiting for a response in his excitement.

"Excuse me, you working?" Edward called as he strolled in, a light bounce in his step. 

"Yeah." Lee replied, not looking up from her desk.

"Y'know, it's been a while since I've come up with a really good scheme. Something Gotham could never forget." Edward prattled on, completely giddy, despite Lee's lack of interest.

"What do you mean, dear? You plan all of our schemes." Lee said distractedly.

"No, I mean I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to come up with my own schemes. To carry out a crime myself rather than get one of our lackeys to do it." Edward continued explaining, beginning to feel some frustration, "Somehow, it feels different to carry it out myself."

"Dangerous, you mean?" Lee finally looked up at her husband.

"That's not it!" Edward argued, "You wouldn't understand. You run the Narrows and you have your clinic. I have nothing."

"What I have, we built together, Ed." Lee sighed.

"Maybe. But I want something of my own." Edward pressed, "I already planned it all out. It's called the Riddle Factory and it's happening next month."

"And you really think this is something you need?" Lee questioned, sounding condescending, "How will you pay for it?"

"I'll fund it myself. You won't have to spend a penny." Edward rolled his eyes, "I know it sounds crazy, but I really wanted this, okay?"

"Alright. If you think you can handle it." Lee replied coolly.

"I can." Edward insisted, before trailing off, "But if you don't want me to..."

"No. It's fine. Do it." Lee told him, her voice rising an octave. She was clearly displeased. Somehow that only made it better.

"I am doing it." Edward had the last word before turning to leave and shutting the door behind him with a snap.

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

Lee stormed into the kitchen, "I just don't understand. What's with the attitude, Ed?"

"I told you I would handle it." Edward said, stepping away from the oven to set a timer. Lately baking had become a way for him to decompress. But there was not enough dough in the world to relieve the stress Lee was causing him this day.

Lee began scolding, "That's true. But you seemed like you were hesitating and we agreed, if you're going to go through with your little Riddle Game-"

"Riddle Factory." Edward corrected.

"Whatever. Riddle Factory. We agreed that you were going to need some help. So I found someone to do that. I still don't understand why you're so upset." She threw her hands up, exasperated by Edward's stubbornness. 

"I would have done it." Edward retorted.

"I know. I just thought you could use a little push. You've been at it for months and no one is ever good enough." Lee tried to reason with him.

"If those imbeciles can't answer a simple riddle, what use are they for a game show revolving around riddles?"

"Your riddles are never simple, Ed." Lee was beginning to be fed up and finally snapped, "You do it deliberately! I KNOW IT!"

Edward turned away, carrying the doughy bowls and utensils to wash in the sink. Lee huffed. She took a steadying breath to compose herself before she continued slowly, "If you don't want to interview the ladies, I'll send them away. I was only _trying_ to make your life easier."

Dishes clattered. Edwards shoulders slumped, his back still turned away. Lee left Edward to himself. Once she was gone, Edward let out a sigh.

Before he knew it, he was in the living room, speaking to the two women, one blond, hair hanging down in long waves, the other brunette, black curls kept incredibly short.

"Look Dierdre, Nina. You two seem really nice, but you have to understand. This is _not_ an interview. I don't actually need assistants." Edward started, "Having to keep up with my brilliance would just be hard on the two of you."

The women stared at Edward saying not a word, so he pressed on, "Just imagine it. The Riddler needing help to carry out his own schemes. Preposterous. Besides, you two probably couldn't even answer a simple riddle."

"I love riddles." One the women finally chimed in.

"That's cute, but I doubt you could solve one of mine." Edward stated emphatically. 

"You could try us." The other retorted.

"Whoever makes me, tells it not. Whoever takes me, knows me not. Whoever knows me, wants me not. What am I?"

The women turned to one another, whispering amongst themselves. Confused already? _This was promising_ , Edward thought sarcastically. Which is why he was genuinely surprised when he heard their answer.

"Poison!" They said in unison.

"Correct..."

"So do we get the job?" The blond bounced excitedly.

"See the thing is, I don't need sidekicks." Edward spoke quickly, "This was my wife's suggestion. I mean, I have come up with every one of our schemes together and they always play out beautifully."

"That's impressive." The brunette nodded along.

"I decided to do this because I needed something of my own. Well, not _need_ maybe... _want_ is a better word." He was babbling now, but the two women just sat and listened to him go on, "It's not like I'm desperate for the validation. Like I have something to prove after all these years of being my wife's number two."

Edward rambled on in this manner for some time, somehow explaining everything about his marriage to two strangers and nothing about the job they were applying for.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't _need_ sidekicks." He finally finished.

"Well, thanks for the interview and good luck." The women stood to leave, the blond looking down in disappointment while the brunette maintained a professionally neutral expression.

But Edward continued, "I want you to understand, if I were to hire you, my life would probably change. You both would be these new elements in my work, you see?"

They nodded, eyes downcast.

"Well, let me show you the workshop." He said, turning to lead the way, "And you're going to need stage names."

The women looked at each other, twin grins spreading across their astonished faces. It seemed they were hired after all. This would turn out to be very fortunate for Edward, though he couldn't have known it at the time.

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

Oswald stood to stretch his limbs. The man sitting across from him did the same. The Penguin collected their empty glasses and filled them once more. There was still much left of the story to tell and it would only get worse from here. 

"Up to this point, you may have been asking yourself why I've been telling you all of this. You might think that everything I have relayed so far is nothing more than the typical strains of an ordinary marriage. And where is the warning in that?" Oswald said.

The man nodded. Although intrigued by the tale, he had yet to hear anything so extraordinary that it would have made the news. Especially in a place such as Gotham.

"Well, you will have to remember that there was nothing typical about the Riddles. And especially my dear Edward. He was never satisfied with the mundane." Oswald began once more, "So, really, what happened next should come as little surprise to any who truly knew him."

Oswald settled back into his seat, glass in hand and swirling its contents deep in thought.

"It really was bound to happen at some point." Oswald mused, "A genius mind, like the Riddler, could never live behind the scenes forever. Brilliance craves recognition. And the Riddle Factory, his own creation, offered Edward his perfect opportunity to shine."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

The lights dimmed and the gathered crowd grew silent. The space was filled with an excited energy as people waited in anticipation. Spotlights flashed on shining down at the stage and all eyes were on the dazzling green figure below it. He could feel the attention charging him on, sending a thrill through him. Edward lifted his head to face his audience and waved with a flourish.

"What time is it?" The Riddler called out.

"RIDDLE TIME!" the crowd cheered.

"What _time_ is it?!" He shouted again, lifting a hand to his ear for emphasis.

"RIDDLE TIME!!!" the crowd erupted. Hands clapping, feet stomping, and some whistling added to the cacophony.

Edward beamed stepping forward, the spotlight following his every movement, "That's right! It's rrriddle time at the-"

"RIDDLE FACTORY!" Came the chorus of voices, followed by more cheers and applause.

Edward removed his signature hat, handing it off to a blond assistant, Query. The other assistant, Echo, was leading their first contestant onto the stage.

"Welcome to our show, good sir. And would you state your name for the audience." Edward lifted the microphone before the other man.

"I'm Dead-eyes Duke." The man growled. Interesting character. It was immediately obvious why he was called that. The man was wearing some odd contact lenses that complimented the rest of his corpse-like appearance. Where did they find these guys?

"And are you ready to play?" Edward continued.

The man nodded his assent. Of course he did. That was what he was here for.

"Now the rules are simple. I ask you a riddle and if you get it right you ask me one in return. You will have one minute to answer and one minute to come up with your own riddle. If you win both, you go home with a prize. If you lose the first, you spin the wheel of misfortune." Edward gestured with a flourish to the giant wheel off to the side. 

The man's eyes followed the movement, settling on the wheel, and fearfully reading off some of the options. _Stapling a barracuda to your forehead. Pop goes the kneecaps. Rabid sack of rats._ Most of them were terribly impractical, but there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were to be taken literally. The man gulped nervously.

"Not getting stage fright are you?" Edward chuckled.

"No sir, Mr. Riddler. I'm happy to be here." Dead-eyes replied.

"That's the Narrows' spirit. Query, ready the timer." "Now then, riddle me this: I can only be read in the night. Used to set one’s path a right. Uncountable, I am far too many. Untouchable, I may burn any. What am I?" Edward trilled in excitement.

Query turned the hourglass upside down and bright green sand began rapidly falling to the other end. Dead-eyes didn't seem to notice, deep in thought about the riddle. Edward watched him struggle with a smile. He knew this one was too stupid to figure it out. He hoped the wheel landed on _pulling fingernails with a rusty spoon_. He had been wanting to try that one out.

The sand ran out as the man panicked shouting any random answers he could think of (all wrong of course). The time was up and Edward turned to watch the wheel spin, giddy with anticipation. _Please be the rusty spoon!_ His fun was interrupted by a loud clatter from the back of the room. Edward's bright smile disappeared as he laid eyes on Lee. His wife stepped forward, the crowd parting around her as she went. Her mere presence commanding and respected in a way Edward's never had been. The man seethed with envy.

"What are you doing here, dear?" Edward asked lightly, maintaining composure for the sake of the show. He hopped off the stage and approached his wife, false grin fixed in place.

"It's over, Ed." Lee replied coolly, "You've taken this act of yours too far. This isn't what we agreed on. You can't keep killing our own people."

" _We_ didn't agree on anything, Lee. This is my show and I'll say when it's over." Edward whispered angrily. He hopped back on stage to address his audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed our Queen here wants to shut us down. How do you feel about that?"

The crowd booed.

"Well, looks like the people have spoken, dear." Edward smirked, " And on my show, call me the Riddler."

"Fine, _Riddler_." Lee whispered before projecting to the crowd and stepping up to the stage, "You want to be entertained? Then I'll beat him."

"Lee! What are doing?!" Edward hissed, "You do know what happens if you lose?"

"I know. I spin the wheel. But if I win, you shut this place down."

How dare Lee meddle in this! This one thing was supposed to be _his_. He was tired of being kept on a leash and held back from his true potential. It was finally his chance to take the spotlight and she was ruining everything he had worked so hard for. And for what? _These people?!_ It was bad enough being his wife's number two in all of their business dealings, but it infuriated him to always be number two in her heart as well.

Edward wanted to turn her down. After all, she was the mother of his children no matter how angry he was in this moment. He should tell Lee he had no intention of playing games with her and that he would do as he wished anyway. But his ego wouldn't allow it. He had to save face. If he backed down now, everyone would believe he had been too afraid to challenge her. That he wasn't confident in the one thing that was his. He couldn't allow that. So he would accept her challenge and he _would_ win! After all, there was no one that could best him when it came to riddles. Certainly not his wife.

Edward turned back to his audience, "It seems we have a new contestant."

The people cheered.

"Query, prepare the timer." Edward called, placing his hat back on, shielding his expression from the crowd. Whatever happened next, Edward couldn't allow Lee to spin the wheel. It galled him to do it, but he would have to throw the first match. However, he would use this chance to send his wife a message.

"I can be broken without being held. Given and then taken away." Edward spat angrily, "Some people use me to deceive, but when delivered, I am the greatest gift of all. What am I?"

Edward turned to glare at his wife, pointing towards her theatrically, always aware that they had an audience. She grimaced, deep in thought as the sand ran through the timer. Of course she wouldn't get it. Edward dropped his arms, agitated. Why did he expect her to realize she had broken her promise?

"You're stumped?" Edward sighed in annoyance.

"Of course, dear. You're the Riddler."

_Why did it sound so belittling from her lips?_

"So you give up?" Edward was surprised to find the thought of it did not bother him as it should. He was surprised how little he cared if his wife was maimed or killed by his game. It was her own fault for interfering. His only worry was what he would tell their children.

"No. You're gonna give me the answer." Lee replied confidently. 

Edward chuckled darkly. The nerve his wife had! Had she asked nicely perhaps he would have given it to her. But to command it that way?! No! He was done with this. Done with her. Let her fail! She was underestimating him again, but this would be the last time.

"So that's your plan. You think because we're married, I'll just roll over and give you what you want. You played the wrong hand, Lee. I will not be manipulated by you anymore." Edward growled low so that only she could hear it.

"I'm not manipulating you, Ed. But you must realize this can't go on. You're ruining our empire, everything we worked to build together." Lee whispered harshly back.

"Our empire? You mean your empire, don't you? We were supposed to be partners, but since day one, I've only been in your shadow! This was finally my time to shine and you promised to let me do this my way!" Edward barked, temper flaring, unable to keep up the pretense of civility any longer.

"Oh my god! Is that what this is about? You think I broke my promise to you? That's the answer isn't it? A promise."

Edward fumed. Her answer had been revealing in so many ways. Lee broke her promise and didn't even take him seriously. He really was just her number two.

Edward turned back to face the crowd, expression carefully neutral. Arms outstretched, he allowed suspense to build before finally giving thumbs up. The answer was correct.

"Well played." Edward clapped his hands, attempting to maintain his showman's mask.

The crowd hooted and hollered before him, clearly enjoying the show. Edward glanced back to see his wife's smug smirk. But this wasn't over.

"We're only half way through and I assure you, you will not stump me." Edward declared, "You have 60 seconds."

Query flipped the timer once more. Silence fell over the crowd as they waited to see the outcome of this contest, the only sound hushed breaths and falling grains of sand. The tense atmosphere only intensified as time ticked by.

"Well then, you've had time to think of a riddle." Edward rubbed his hands together, stepping towards his wife, "I hope you've come up with a good one."

"I have."

"Then ask away."

"What three words are said too much, meant by few, and wanted by many?" Lee questioned, "Tell me you love me dear and I'll let you keep your little show."

Edward burned with rage. He couldn't say the answer now. His pride wouldn't allow it.

"Was the riddle too difficult, dear? It's just three little words."

"You play dirty, Lee. This isn't over. I'll see you at home, _dear_." Edward sniped back, before turning away and exiting the stage.

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

"It should be clear to you by now that the relationship was due to meet a messy end." Oswald commented. It had certainly been clear to him at the time. The man across from him nodded and Oswald stood to pace back in front of the window. He stared out for a long moment remembering the events that followed. He still wished he had done things differently then.

"After that night, the Riddles' happy marriage was on it's last leg so to speak. All that was needed was one more incident to knock it off and the whole thing to come toppling down." Oswald continued softly, voice just hinting at some hidden remorse, "And that one more incident occured when my dear Edward began hallucinating again. It was probably inevitable that his alter ego resurface. Really, it was miraculous it hadn't happened sooner."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

When the hallucinations first started, Edward began reaching out to Oswald once more. Few people knew him as well as Oswald and the man had been on good terms with the family for several years by this time. It was a bit unusual to confide in him again on a more personal level, but Edward needed someone he could talk to. Someone who would understand. And Oswald had been that person in the past, the only one actually, and so Edward found himself going back to him.

Edward was seated in Oswald's office, face in his hands, feeling so hollow. There was a time he felt so in love with Lee. That feeling was long gone now. How long? Edward wasn't sure. There had been no one defining moment when everything changed. It was all the little things that chipped away at his identity until there was nothing left of him. He didn't even know who he was anymore. Just bitterness and nothingness. All that was left.

Oswald handed him a cup of tea and patted his shoulder. Edward sipped from the cup, trying to fill himself with its warmth and exhaled slowly. At least for the moment his mind was at peace, the voices were silent.

Oswald perched in a seat across from him, look of concern in place. Like a true friend. Lately, Edward regretted the way things turned out between them, the falling out they had so many years ago. He wondered how his life might be different if Oswald hadn't betrayed him. Or if he hadn't betrayed Oswald in return.

"Do you ever think about how different things could have been? Do you... do you ever wish you could go back and make different choices?"

"Sometimes." Oswald admitted, "but it doesn't do to dwell on the past that way. What is, is. That can't be changed."

"What if we could change it?" Edward whispered, leaning across the space between them and resting a hand suggestively on Oswald's thigh, "What if I wanted to change it now?"

Oswald swallowed hard, Edward's eyes boring desparately into his. That's all this was. Desperation. The man before him was a void seeking to be fulfilled. Oswald longed to be the one to fulfill him. But he couldn't. He wouldn't give himself over for desperation, not even Edward's. It could never end well if he did, not for either of them. He couldn't have known then the ending that would play out anyway.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Oswald replied, gently pushing the man's hand away.

Edward merely nodded, quickly retreating back into himself. Frigid posture and aloof expression fixed in place. He pushed his glasses up his nose and stood to leave.

But as he reached the door, he turned back. Just for a moment the facade dropped, sad smile taking its place as he looked at Oswald, "You know where I am if you change your mind."

¿?_______________________________________________¿?

Edward left Oswald's office feeling more lost than ever. And the moment he stepped back out into the street and began walking home, the voices returned. A swirl of voices worse than anything he had ever previously experienced bombarding his mind and driving him insane. And then _He_ appeared.

 _He_ followed him all the way home speaking his darkest thoughts and desires back at him. Edward rushed to the bathroom sink, turned the knob for cold, and splashed water on his face to clear his thoughts. It didn't work. 

_"You don't love her. Not anymore. Maybe you never really did."_

"Stop." Edward replied weakly.

_"Why should I? We both know it's true. After all, I'm you."_

Edward offered no resistance this time. All the things he had for so long repressed could no longer be contained. His alter ego was out of his cage, and if Edward were honest, it was a relief to finally lose control.

_"Now that you've finally faced the truth, time to lose the dead weight."_

"I don't understand." Edward shook his head. He stood in the empty bathroom, peering into the mirror. His double sneered at him.

_"Please. You know exactly what I mean. Finally be free of the old ball and chain. Let loose. There is only one way."_ his double purred, _"We need to kill Lee."_

"Kill my wife?" Edward mumbled, "No. I couldn't do that. What about the kids?"

"So you want me dead?"

Edward whirled around to face the intrusion. There was Lee standing in the doorway. Oh crud.

"I- no. This... this isn't what it looks like." Edward stammered defensively.

"It's over, Ed." Lee interrupted.

What? Over?

"I want a divorce and I'm taking the children. Whatever _this_ is..." Lee gestured at him as she spoke, "You're dangerous and I won't have my children around it. As long as I live, you will never see them again."

"Wait, Lee!" Edward pleaded, "Don't-"

"Goodbye, Ed."

This couldn't be happening! Something in him snapped. The last thread of sanity.

 _"There now. You get it. The only way to get what we want is to get rid of her."_


End file.
